"The Meek Shall Inherit"

Hey Seymour Krelbourn you prince you
My name is Bernstein I'm with NBC
I came down here to convince you
To do a weekly TV show for me

Seymour Krelbourn's Gardening Tips
You like it, I love it
For half an hour on Sundays at four
TV's first home gardening program
You'll make a mint and our ratings will soar

The say the meek shall inherit
You know the book doesn't lie
It's not a question of merit
It's not demand and supply

They say the meek gonna get it
And you're a meek little guy
And now the meek are gonna
Get what's coming to them by and by

Your own TV show, Seymour, coast to coast! Your name in lights! Your face on screen! Sign it! Sign it! Sign that contract! Isn't it exciting?

Here he is, Mrs. Luce, we found him. He's right here.
Oh, my darling, my precious, my sweet, sweet thing. Oh, I'm so delighted to make your acquaintance. Cutie, sweetness, Seymour, baby doll.

I'd like a word with you lover
I'm sure you know me the editor's wife
We want your face on the cover
Of the December thirty issue of Life

It's the front of Life Magazine
Now that's an honor we so seldom grant
We'll send someone down let's say Thursday
For shots of you and your beautiful plant

They say the meek shall inherit
You know the book doesn't lie
It's not a question of merit
It's not demand and supply

They say the meek gonna get it
And you're a meek little guy
You know the meek are gonna
Get what's coming to them by and by

Life Magazine? Oh, my goodness, Seymour, you're going to make it straight to the top. How did you do it?
Here he is, sir, the incredible Seymour Krelbourn, owner of the fabulous Audrey II, America's most amazing and largest unidentifed plant.
So, this is Seymour Krelbourn. We've been trying to reach you, baby, have your lines been busy. Did you get our telegram?
I don't think so.
Well, it's a good thing I came down in person. Pleased to meet you, kid. Skip Snip, William Morris Agency.

Forget the cable we sent you
It's nice to meet me
The pleasure is yours
Now let my firm represent you
We want to book you on lecturing tours

College campus, Rotary Club
The kind of bookings my office can do
Show the plant and talk
Answer questions
It's educational, lucrative too

My future's starting
I've got to let it
Stick with that plant and gee
My bank account will thrive

What am I saying
No way forget it
It's much too dangerous
To keep that plant alive

I take these offers
That means more killing
Who knew success would come
With messy nasty strings

I sign these contracts
That means I'm willing
To keep on doing
Bloody awful evil things

No
No
There's only so far you can bend
No
No
This nightmare must come to an end

No
No
You've got no alternatives Seymour
Old boy

Though it means
You'll be broke again
And unemployed
It's the only solution
It can't be avoided
The vegetable must be destroyed

Then there's Audrey
Lovely Audrey
If life were tawdry
And impoverished as before

She might not like me
She might not want me
Without my plant
She might not love me anymore

They say the meek shall inherit (where do I sign)
You know the book doesn't lie (right on the line)
It's not a question of merit (that'll be fine)
It's not demand and supply (this cup is mine)

You'll make a fortune we swear it (couldn't go wrong)
If on this fact you rely
You know the meek are gonna
Get what's coming to them

You know the meek are gonna
Get what's coming to them
You know the meek are gonna
Get what's coming to them by and by

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